Strange thing happened in one of our classes recently. We were asked to share with the class something unexpected that each one of us done or have experienced or said. I was unsure what to say? Everything about me is unexpected, come to think of it. I shared this, i told them I am personification of unexpectedness!
My Aai-Baba will recollect how my mother was asked to drop her baby, that is me, when she was carrying me. One gynac had told her that the pregnancy was a risk to her life. My baba sent her to his rakhi sister, a gynac who told my mother (she was my mother’s gynac thereafter for me & our younger brother, Madhav), who told her there is NO risk at all.
My aai was ‘informed’ very confidently that she will get a son & i was conceived as a girl. Before the delivery my mother went for a regular visit to Saroj atya the gynac who checked her & asked her to stay on the hospital. Aai had no problem, except on 20th midnight, the first few minutes of 21st May her second daughter me, was born.
Absolutely unexpected! She had an older daughter Smita -round, podggy, great cheeks, bald & absolutely the cutest baby we have seen since then…here aai got a wide-eyed baby girl, who had immense hair on her head, round face but weak child. The contrasts were so evident that they clashed on a daily basis for over 2 decades with the expectations of my parents from me.
Every decision i have taken in my life, had been totally UN CALCULATED…choice of men, choice of career, change of career fm social advocacy to writing or broadcast journalism, choice to remain single, to exert my right to make choices & the method i took them, they all were unexpected & in many ways still opposite to that of my sister’s. To assert my choice of NOT wanting to be a mother too is unexpected of me, many of my friends thought here is one girl who get settled, marry & have babies! why on earth they predicted such things from me, they best can answer.
People will find it surprising that i cook well, though hate anything that is a daily chore, like making dal, rotis, fulkas, bhaji, etc etc…haha…I HATE believe me despise washing clothes. Oh! my god here there is NO laundry machine where we can wash our clothes by paying a $. Its surprising that i have NO expectations from anyone in life anymore…i have HOPE NO expectations…so i can enlist a lot of things…
So i just said something that i felt was most natural. I told the class that everything about me from my birth has been unexpected. Yes, i won’t lie. For me to have got selected for this course was absolutely unexpected for me. I have travelled to 3 parts of the world, rather continents NOT at my expense, NOT a junket, but on fellowships is absolutely unexpected. so the list of my unexpectedness continues.
Oh! Yes, there are times when i have shown immense sense of humour & laughed off a conflict, while I’ve run into people, friends & colleagues unexpectedly…the class responded with loud laughter saying yeah, whatever i said they felt was interesting & some said well, it goes with your personality! What it means, they can explain best! Yet, many seem to recall this conversation in class frequently.