Last goodbyes

Everyday I would say ‘me yete’ when I’d leave the house, as we never say, I am going
then later, I’d call at a specific time to ask have you eaten dinner, how is baba, has he eaten, okay bye. Few words and then when I’d return late at night, I would check on my aai and Baba. How times change when they get older and we become adults. Sometimes aai would get up to go to the toilet and we would be like ghosts in the dark. Next morning, she’d say, ‘good morning raani’ (good morning queen) and life would go on.

December 27, 2018, was last my aai called out to me, she actually screamed for help, wanting relief fr the severe palpitations. After that, there were no exchange of words and she breathed her last on Jan 22, 2019.

We all tried. Many ways and methods to get her to respond. Her facial expressions seemed like she was listening, she wanted to respond, say something. The semlls, sounds, voices, aromas, massage, half a smile and I would convince myself she was feeling, was able to understand it all.

The nurse too said, she was amazed with her recovery, but we knew in medicine there is no miracle, even if many would try to reassure some family members. I was hoping aai would open her eyes and we could say one Last goodbye, face-to-face. Alas, it was never to be

In my baba’s case, he was sharp till his last breath, so we could bid him a farewell. This month its already six months since aai’s demise and I still feel often, I have to call at 8pm, I haven’t asked if they ate. I still feel on Sunday afternoons I need to check on them, ask if they want anything.

Today’s international chocolate day and my aai would sneer at anything that had chocolate. My baba simply loved anything chocolate. I take after him for the same. (Gladly). Ate a Lindt in his memory and shared this sentiment with her, looking at her photo. Of course she knew we were by her side and she was NOT alone..but for 25 days I said aai bye, me yete hoping she had heard me.

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