Conflict in the group

Now, we are Peace fellows, class of April 2009..having said this i will reiterate that we are ‘supposed’ to take initiatives to the communities, society at large & more importantly within ourselves to spread the message of peace. I believe that Peace is like our breath which we constantly live by. Now what i am writing is extremely disturbing more so since the whole episode has left bitterness among the whole class. The group is now divided on gender lines – women versus the men.

I am NOT talking of normal tiffs, conflicts due to strong personalities, NO, these are nothing in comparison to what has been happening in our group. But then aren’t police supposed to be the ultimate responsible persons for upholding & maintaining law & order? Do they fulfill their responsibility? So if they fail why do i get so disturbed & rattled with my colleagues? Because i thought here are people who have been selected by their countries, to come learn, study about conflict resolution & go back to their countries & implement, internalise what they have learnt here. More so because some earnest tax paying people have bloody well invested in these rascals.

We have among us men in the class of peace fellows. We are in Thailand, Bangkok (eeks i have sooooo many corny names for these 2 places…Thai -Land, Bang -kok!!) so people have conceptions, rather misconceptions & desires or rather fantasies which they want to fulfill after coming to this land. Now i am NOT insinuating that women are incapable of feeling the way like men. But having said that i definitely believe that such women are rare.

For long we had been hearing that some men in our group have gone visiting Pat pong, brothels, slept with sex workers, prostitutes, etc etc…I definitely agree that what anyone does in their personal lives is their own ‘fucking’ business. We not here to sermonise or convert. However, there are some facts that hit one’s face when we speak of Peace fellows are indulging in these practices.
(1) Someone has sponsored them to come here & study
(2) A renowned Internationally acclaimed organisation Rotary has sponsored them. They may be elite but they have a good reputation
(3) They are bloody living on the campus in the ‘official’ residence
(4) They are indulging in “illegal” business
(5) They represent their countries, dammit they are Ambassadors of their countries

Friends will say whay are you rattled Neeta, let them do what they want. Oh! Sure, infact i had NOT even raised this issue with the management, intially. Though some of my female friends took the initiative.

But what is more infuriating is that one man in our group went & made a sexual advance & proposition for becoming sex mates with another female colleague. This is outrageous, disgusting & he definitely needs to be kicked in his arse & thrown out of this place. More so he even spoke disrespectful of his wife to her. She told me about this & I made her talk more, so that i could get her to express everything. She was like, “Neeta I can just imagine what you would have done & said to him.” Well, i am proud to say there are NOT many people like, who will stick their neck out & speak for their rights. I am a minority. This is worse than going to a brothell I asked her to tell Jenn, but she told me she should handle it ‘maturedly!!!!’ Means, SILENCE.

All what we have learnt in the last 2 months seems to have fallen on deaf ears. The need to stand up for one’s rights, handle conflict & resolve it, repsect each other, it seems Greek & Latin when are faced with such people. Well the conflict wasn’t resolved. Because after visiting the brothel this man has the gall to go & tell the lady colleague that he visited a brothel. NOW! what does one say to such people??

Meanwhile the women friends & colleagues went & told Jenn about the illegal activities. Till then Jenn wasn’t aware. More so i had a long chat with the women. I said I have NO sympathy (Gawd even empathy) for these men, or for their spouses either. I really don’t care. But what matters is that they are indulging in activities which they should do after the course is over. Also NOT when they are staying on official college premises. More so, i wanted them to tell of another loud, ill-mannered otherwise nice male colleague who of course wears his country’s tag on his chest. What with their newly elected President.

Mr X came with us to Pattaya. He made hotel bookings with us, accompanied us. On the night we women visited the sleaze street, he came along & told me at least thrice. “You know Neeta if i had come with my group of male friends i would’ve have fucking come here. I would’ve have done things like sleep with these lady boys.” So i was like “ofcourse you still can go.” what is it about this place that attracts men sooo very much??

The next day he didn’t answer his cell or room land line. We were sure he wouldn’t come with us to Koh Samet. We 4 women with Dilshad, wife & daughter enjoyed & returned to the bus stop. There we saw Mr X in a delirious state! His eyes were listless, foam around his lips, aimlessly walking, soiled Bermudas & eeks he was wreaking of alcohol & some substance…god knows what it was. Dilshad called him & brought him to where we sat. We had presumed he had gone off to Bangkok wt Sofia. Please, i have a younger brother who was an alcoholic & i really didnt want to play counsellor to a male colleague who has shown a similar pattern of immature drunken behaviour in the last 3days.

Wendy & Chiara accompanied him for his safety. He paid & got off at MBK for food & by then they were exasperated. They returned to the dormitory. I urged them to talk to Jenn about this just as they would talk about the brothel part. On my part i told Mr X he should take someone along with him the next time he went binging again. coz as a journalist i told him you are bloody white! means, he is the first target, most vulnerable & can get mugged, raped, drugged, or even falsely implicated.

After listening to me, he NEVER once told me he had lost his camera, thankfully i had shared this all with Simon & asked him to get some information out fm Mr X. Yes, we must know details, coz he could have been raped or injected or drugged, more so did he know?? More so dammit he came with us. He at NO point told us that he will go separate ways on our stay & we should NOT be bothered about him. Because that would mean he is solely responsible for his acts or misdeeds. Since he did NOT tell us, had something to happen, we would have had to face the consequences. Well, Mr X has still NOT learnt, he repeated his performance yet again on Tues night.

By now the management is aware of these dealings. I am glad they are. Initially i was of the opinion that we women shouldn’t bother. Let these men face the consequences. But then, the legal points i raised would mean, if something has to happen, all of us could get branded. And hell will breka loose if I am branded with these arse holes man.

Worse still, a good, nice, socially committed course will get tainted & blacklisted because of these horrendous men & their misdeeds. It also means Rotary gets tainted, the people who have sponsored, conceptualised this course, the Chulalongkorn University & the authorities here, all will labelled in one category with these sort of men. Of course, it will happen. Just imagine if any of these chutiyas has to get caught in their act, how it can backfire & what a sensational media case this will be! I would have gone all out to unearth it, had i been covering it.

What is worse is that some of these men even approached a Thai male colleague in the group. One who is a monk in the making! He is so very nice, a Buddhist who has undergone Dhamma doctrination. He was distressed & asked me what should he have said to the men who asked him to take the
m to a brothel. In my blunt way i told him Tony you must say upfront you are NOT a pimp & if they want they can get lost finding brothels for themselves. Also, what the hell do they mean by Thai girls?? Are all Thai girls whores? I mean why do men think below the belt??

Away from this course i give an ant’s arse of space to these male colleagues in my mind, life. But their activities has left us all baffled & sickened. I feel sad that what a waste of money to have invested in such men. Tomorrow they will be going out in the huge world, will they continue to behave like this? The vulnerable women in conflict zones will be made to feel further vulnerable.

2 thoughts on “Conflict in the group”

  1. Shocking is an understatement. This is something that Rotary should totally take upon and have some kind of contract signed before even during the course. Send them back.

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