Category Archives: cafe’

Sex over coffee

There is a saying at the Café Coffee Day or CCD as its called here in India – “A lot can happen over coffee.” This is their slogan, which I say is true.

Really a lot happens over coffee. People engage in long conversations, sit staring into each other’s eyes for hours; some others indulge in long drawn out debates or discussions and many simply sit around staring into space. Many others strum guitars, come in groups to chill & enjoy, some for intense personal conversations and generally a lot happens over coffee.

Initially when my friends would force me to go with them because I am not much of a coffee drinker. Rather I detest coffee. I get totally turned on by the brewing smell of tea, chaai. I was most disturbed when I went over to the US. I could smell a Starbucks or any other coffee from a distance of miles…my stomach would churn. It still does, but much less now.

Hence when we would all meet I had to first deal with a severe churning stomach…over a period of time I began adjusting & preparing myself mentally. Coz I think the mind controls all our senses. Last few years even in our office I’ve had to adjust to sipping some absolutely milky (I detest milk) coffee, since I can’t bear to drink ready made milky tea form a machine.

Now this far too milky coffee drinking would go one for hours. I prefer eating at these cafés –one gets good snacks & more so great pastries. Over a period of time I realised one needs to ‘look’ busy at these cafés rather than eat or drink anything. So like in Pune’s Vaishali & Rupali cafés what the Brahmin kids do, is what one needs to do at the coffee shops. Here we all go & buy our coffees or drinks together. Instead like the Brahmin kids one must order one coffee at a time, sit sipping it or like a scotch nurse it for over hours, then according to me we ‘look’ busy & are spending money.

The young college kids know how to wisely spend their money & divide more time at the cafés. They strum guitars, stare for long into each other’s eyes.

I love one hobby & that is to observe people pass on the streets. And with this observation one morning at Andheri opposite fame ad labs Anne & I sat at a CCD. We were waiting on a friend. We were sitting in the air-conditioned section & suddenly we saw a yucky man…the typical pimp, gigolo looking types.

Yes these gigolo, pimp types are recognisable in India. This one was straight out of a Hindi film…the gigolo pimp shady looking character.

Most of the pimps have ugly coloured streaks or colours on their hair, they were gold earrings, they have thick gold bracelet flashy in every sense of the word. They are on their cell phone which is not one…they speak in code language & are loud.

We saw one Russian whore…to be politically correct, a Russian sex worker walk in the porch wt a trolley bag. She was white that’s about it. Not great looks –well ofcourse I am aware looks has nothing to do with sex! Especially as regards many Indian men are concerned, they are more interested in the colour, whatever may be in front of them. The pimp kept himself busy on the cell & was networking all the while. In few minutes we saw a typical Marawari businessman walk in….a fat slob, in a shiny shirt, tight pants, bursting out of his clothes (I’m sure by now he was, considering he was close to fulfilling his dream of sleeping with a white woman) and chewing the famous paan…how can even their wives sleep with them is a question I always have.

Anne & I sat looking bewildered, since the whole sex call unfolded in front of our eyes. We were like she is a hooker & this businessman wants her & the pimp was striking the deal. Yes, hands were shaken, money exchanged between the pimp & the Russian walked away wt the Maru dragging her trolley behind.

Sure besides love, singing & staring, sex seems to have happened over the coffee. Yes, the pimp had ordered a coffee and sat showing he was interested in it!